Doubt

I made this blog so that I may share all my experiences in my new walk with Jesus with you. I did not just want to share the perfect days, but especially the struggles that I have had. Those are the times when I have learned and grew the most in the Lord.

Lately doubt has been plaguing me. I have learned as a new Christian that when life circumstances and also spiritual changes come upon me, the best thing to do is pray to the Savoir to send help. But not to just pray and do nothing but to research my thoughts and feelings to get a better understanding of what is happening and why and how to stop what is taking place in my spirit. The other thing to do is research this feeling or thought to find scriptures that speak about my thoughts. There is nothing that you are going through that you cannot find in the book of life (bible).

Doubt: a status between belief and disbelief, involves uncertainty or distrust or lack of sureness of an alleged fact, an action, a motive, or decision. Doubt came from the Greek word distazo- from dis meaning twice or double.

Trust: reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety…of a person or thing. 2) Confident expectation of something; hope.

Faith: confidence or trust in a person or a thing.

I got caught, yes I did. I got caught in the dragon's den. He made me doubt my dear Jesus. He said to me; take a look at your life. He said have all the things God said come true, he plagued me with so many double minded thoughts about my life and he shook the confidence I had in my Lord.

The same Jesus that has brought me through some extremely dark days, the Jesus that always provide for me.  How could I have betrayed Him like that? He said He would never leave me nor forsake me. He said Sadornia I am the same today, tomorrow and forever.

How did I get here? I left an open door to my mind for the devil by letting go of the hand of Jesus. I also doubted my abilities, gifts, and I also doubted God’s promises. The devil took that doubt and ran with it, to make his plan on how to overthrow me.

The devil comes in many different ways. He is the Houdini of darkness. He disguises himself in so many ways, lack of self-confident, doubt, fear, and self-hatred. His face is the worrying about how you will support your family. His face is the abusive husband. His face is the unloving wife. His face is adultery and fornication. He comes as the unruly teen that just ran away from your home. He is your fourteen year old daughter that is pregnant. He is the boss that just let you go from twenty years of service.  He comes as exhaustion so you will not be able to spend twenty minutes in the word of God.  He is the cancer that just took hold of your mother. The devil is these and so much more.

But instead of giving up, and letting doubt and fear capture you say God here it is these are my problems. These are the things that are taking me away from all your blessings and the purpose that you made me for.  God does not want you to doubt him or mistrust him. He is not a liar and he does not go back on his promises.

I should believe in all that my God says and all he has promised.  I should have confidence that he is leading me in the right path and that he has my best interest in heart. I should expect good things from my God. I should have hope in life and that there are many great things awaiting my future.

Romans 14:23 But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith, and everything that does not come from faith is sin.

Let us pray today to God for faith, because faith without works is dead. Dear Lord we come to you asking for more faith and trust. We ask that you lead us in the righteous path that you have set out for our lives. Keep our feet from sinking sand, help us to be like the centurion that had such faith in you that he said you do not need to come to my house to heal my servant, but you can do it from where you are. Help us to be planted and deeply rooted in you, that when the storm and scorching sun comes upon us, we will still flourish and be faithful. Help us to look to the future and teach us how to act as Kingdom bound individuals. Continue to be with us and lead us in your path not our own. In the name of Jesus Christ our blessed Savoir and Messiah. Amen.

Music is uplifting, please enjoy these beautiful songs.

Struggling to Rise

What if God came for his world right now? The question I am asking myself is will I make it? Will I be in heaven in the end with my heavenly Father? What am I doing for the one that holds my life in the palm of his hand?  What if my maker said ok Sadornia your time is up, what then?

I am still working out this Christian life, it is a very complex thing; or is it? To the carnal (human) mind, the mind that does not understand the spiritual mysteries it is very complicated.

It can also be very frustrating, and tiring. But what if we just let go? If we just say Lord Jesus please help me I do not understand, I cannot understand without you. Will it be easier? Although not yet perfected and at times I still struggle. I think the answer is yes, it can be easier.

If we truly know that Jesus is with us at all times. And that he has given us the authority and power to trample under feet our enemies, we will be more at ease.

Do not get me wrong, I am not saying it will be a fairy tale, but we will have the strength to keep fighting. I am struggling with some serious circumstances lately. Family, marriage, obedience, motherhood, Christianity, truth, faith, trust, honesty, and most of all giving up myself over to Jesus. Getting to my destination seems to be taking forever and the long journey has made me weary at times.

I use to be so in love with my Jesus. The thought of reading and learning more about him was top priority. I was like a young girl in love for the first time; it was so exciting.

Let me tell you that if you take your eyes, and your heart off Jesus for a minute, that is too long. He said to seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and all its righteousness and then he will add to you all things (Matthew 6:33). God also said if my people that are called by my name would humble themselves and turn from their sin he will heal their land (2 Chronicles 7:14).

Right now in my life I need my spirit to be healed. There is too much at stake here. There is a world of people out there that needs you and me.

My family needs me. My children need me. The hungry baby in Africa needs me. The woman whose husband beats her every night needs me. The Christian, who is struggling with faith, needs my words of encouragement. The world needs me and my prayer also the salvation I hold in my spirit and the gospel that I received from Christ Jesus.

I have decided that I will not throw the towel in. I will seek the kingdom. I made a vow to God. Jesus is living in me. This body I have is a shell, a carrier for my spirit, which is the same spirit of Christ.

I am strong and in the name of JESUS I will not give up. We cannot make it alone, so when you feel your light distinguishing please ask for help, it will come. I just want to say that who ever is reading this blog I love you, because Christ has given me that love, but the Savoir and the Messiah loves you a million times more.

God we need the help of the Holy Spirit today, not tomorrow but now. I cannot make it without you. The power of this world is strong but you are at the right hand of the Father fighting for me as I speak. Send me help so I may do your will and serve others. Please help me to know that your love is here always. No power on earth is mightier than the power in your name. Fill my heart and humble my spirit to submit to you in the name of Jesus Christ.

Amen.